Swoop Chronicles pt. 1

F1 Asian and Her Albanian Friend

I just finished my 1st or 3rd Vodka Soda, and my hands were reaching for the cigarettes. I told myself I’m only coming here for a drink or two and to say hello to Truong the bartender, and D the bouncer. I also told myself I wouldn’t smoke tonight. But how’s a man not to smoke after 4 or 5 Vodka Sodas?

I make my way down from the rooftop lounge. There are two stairways, and as I turned to go down the second one, I saw two girls walking in and coming up towards me. One was Asian with black, thick-brimmed glasses. Cute. Her friend was an Albanian looking American with curly blonde hair that reached her ass, so it seemed. Not bad either.

“Hey girls, looks like you found the secret entrance!”

This wasn’t a secret entrance at all, actually. But it wasn’t the conventional way of entering this club lounge which is usually towards the door that leads you to the first floor. But this one was to the side and brought you to the double-stairway that takes you to the rooftop (2nd floor).

They said something excitable and with great young girl energy.

“Come smoke a cigarette with me, you girls fit the vibe. Lana Del Rey and all, you know?”

They both responded with high enthusiasm and laughter, agreeing with me.

I put out my elbows for them on each of my sides so they can put their arm through (even though there was only like 8 steps left to go).

I walked out with them in each hand, let go of the girl on the right to fist-bump one of the usual bouncers who knows me that I talk to when I’m smoking a cig beside him as he ID-checks people on the line.

I triple-cig lit them. Three cigs in my mouth, all lit at once, and each smoke handed to each girl.

We spoke about where they’re from and what they’re doing. Logistics is nearly everything.

Chinese girl was visiting from LA, think she mentioned attending UCLA. She was visiting her friend in NYC. I didn’t find out if she was staying at Albanian’s or had her own hotel (I liked the Asian far more), but I wasn’t gonna press on that yet; gotta play it cool, and time will reveal all.

My friend calls me. He happens to have just ended work and was wondering what I was up to.

I told him I went out solo at our spot; said I have an extra girl for him but I’d only keep my hand off of her for only the next 15 minutes. He told me he’ll be there in 20.

So I compromised.

After the smoke I bring them to the rooftop where I am nearly always at as there are more seats (if you snag ‘em early or catch a group leaving), and less loud music which 3x’s my chance of smoothly talking down pretty girls.

I ask them what they’re drinking. They all said Vodka. 3 minutes later, 3 Vodka Sodas.

My friend arrives a few sips in.

I dap him up and hug him. Introduce him to both girls. Before he came I had Albanian to the right of me and Asian to the left. When B (we’ll call him that for short) came, he sat to the right of her.

We start chatting, getting closer.
I’m inching closer and closer to her.
I’ve already confirmed she’s mentally super down.

For me, that is.
Not the syndrome.

I decide to sit much closer. I gently take her hand that’s softly sitting on her laps that are crossed, facing me, of course. Put her palm on top of mine, and my other palm on top of hers.

I look her in the eyes. She matches mine with an intensity. We both smile.

We start kissing. Making out even. Had to control myself. This is a place of business for me, not just for fun. People know me here. But it definitely wasn’t the first time they’ve seen me with a girl. And they’re kinda in the business of getting guys and girls drunk and together.’

So we made out some more.

I whispered things in her ears. Asked her what her sleeping situation was like.

She told me she’s staying at hers.

Fuck.

The problem with this is that I live a 40 minute drive away from the city. And it’s very difficult to get a girl to agree to a 40-minute drive away from where they live/stay at. Especially when it’s 3 AM, and you’re drunk. But being drunk also makes the time go by faster. So I knew this wasn’t a fail. I believed I could get her to agree to the 25 minute uber ride that definitely wasn’t 40. I just had to really lock her in. Really build her up. Really whisper naughty niceties she hasn’t heard any man say to her before, or at least in a while, and probably not like me.

I also find out Albanian girl is engaged. Yikes.

Told B as soon as I could.
“I thought so, too,” he said.

No worries. We can all still have fun. And besides. If B’s game is really on point, and she’s not the serious type of girl, he could still have a chance. Especially if I bring Asian back to mine.

Fast forward some time, lots of drinks and smokes. It gets late. I tell her we’ll go back to mine. It’s 20 minutes away. She gawks in disbelief.

“Omg, 20 minutes.”

Yeah... 20…

I saw some doubt and a little bit of let-down in her eyes. That could’ve been the dealbreaker, honestly. Despite how wrapped around my finger she was, I can’t say for certain I’d have it in the bag that night.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make the time fly by,” I quickly throw out.

She smiles naughtily and gives a young girl-giggle. A giggle like she knew she was bad, and she’s fully accepted it. She’s in this stranger’s hands now. And she can’t wait for what happens later. She’s excited to embark on this journey.

I ask Albanian how she’s getting back. Uber she said.

B didn’t get it this time, but that’s alright. Wouldn’t have felt too good to do that to whoever she was “engaged” to.

We end up getting in the Uber, and forgive me Mr. Uber Driver. I am usually far more cognizant and respectful of my drivers. But she was like a rabid dog. And I was too drunk to have my wherewithal to pause her from molesting me in a smooth, tactful manner. So there was a whole lot of making out for 35-40 minutes or so. I left a big 50% tip on the app as we got out.

She was telling me about how she was dating some F1 guy. I didn’t care for the sport back then and knew literally 0. I still don’t care for the sport as of right now, and know maybe 1 or 2 drivers.

Was she telling me the truth? Maybe. Probably even. I still have her IG, and for a 21 year old girl, she does visit some extravagant dating spots around the world without ever posting the guy.

But none of that mattered to me. Matter of fact. I think I asked her what was wrong with him. She said the sex was bad. I thought she probably got dumped. It didn’t matter.

I told her she’s in a for real contrast of a difference tonight.
She gave me that young-naughty girl giggle.

The night ended as well as you can expect. Next morning, we woke up properly and I shortly after sent her back to the city to Albanian’s spot. She messaged me thanking for the Ubers and the great time, I said it was my pleasure. And since then we have never spoken. Still have each other added. But zero conversations since.

And that was arguably one of my better and more seamless one-night stands that worked out perfectly in every manner. Smooth from the get-go. Real operator. Handling two girls smoother than most guys would handle one on their best night.

Now that night is nothing like the raunchy night with my friend T, when I visited him in Scottsdale, Arizona. Or the night I met the artheaux with the rose tattoo between the breasts. Or the smoking hot Indian girl at the [redacted] Hotel Bar I summoned with a come-hither motion with my index finger, thinking it was a group of two girls we were expecting but it was a completely different pair (I didn’t have my contacts on).

But it was a good night. And if I may say so without sounding too arrogant… I believe if B never came, and I really wanted it, I would’ve had both.

But I’m glad that it didn’t pan out that way.
Last I saw, she married the guy.
Good for them.

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If you liked this, let me know by giving it a like and commenting so I know what’s up. I got a ton more like this, and am going to start putting these out as they’re interesting but also very educational for the up-and-coming playboy. I enjoyed reading these “field reports” 10 years ago, so it’s my turn to give back.

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